So, today I wanted to talk about taking criticism well. I had to re-learn this lesson when I asked y’all what you think of my blog in a one-five star rating because I got a bunch of three’s, which I don’t want to be mediocre. And you’re good, if you gave me criticism that’s fine, I want people to be honest with me and I’m trying to make some changes. I changed my name because people didn’t like it and I won’t use abbreviations for my blog name, either. 😉 I was also told in a way, (a very nice way), I post too much which I guess I can see as true; I just didn’t realize it. She also said she doesn’t read all of posts parts because I did post too much. I want you to because on some of these posts I dive into some deep things and I want everyone to read them. So, I decided to make some changes and I want to present this idea to you. Uniquely You, “Or Are We…?” Questions, and those types of posts I think can be really helpful. But not if you don’t read them if you already read another post by me. So, here we go, here is a new blog by Ariana. (In sorts).
A girl said I need longer posts and less posts altogether. I realize, I agree. And then I thought what do I talk about? That confused me. I talked about being you, tips for being bored, and strengthening your spiritual/physical/mental self, so I got stuck! But, then I knew I had the perfect life lesson. And that was taking criticism.
Criticism can be rough, especially when you expect praise and you get these things like, “You used that word twice in one sentence,” or “Dialogue is a new line, not just in a middle of a paragraph,” or “I just don’t agree with you at all…”
All are valid, hurtful? They can be. But, that’s your choice. People aren’t just being mean or cruel. People try to help you with your criticism. I’ve dealt with good and bad criticism, and I know the difference. Can I give you an example?
Carly: What did you think about my story?
Kate: It was really good and the characters were super unique and fun. I really liked it. But, I feel like you were trying to make it a certain word count, if you know what I mean. But, I did really like it.
Carly: What did you think about my story?
Kate: It was a mess, I can’t believe you showed me it, I didn’t know where to begin on all your mistakes. I hated it.
Ouch…but, do you see the difference? The 2nd may have been a bit exaggerated, but I just wanted to drive the point home. Being sensitive is a sign of spiritual health. You know how your gums bleed sometimes when you floss when you haven’t done it in a while? It’s like that. When you get criticism after expecting praise sometimes you feel hurt (gums bleed) and then you get angry/sarcastic/rude (gum disease). I hope that makes sense. (What can I say? I love analogies). A lot of the way you take criticism is not just what the person says but their tone. Tone changed everything. For example, I could say:
“Very funny” in a laughing tone which basically means I’m happy.
“Very funny…” she said with a sarcastic smirk.
In other words, the 2nd version of that is “verbal irony” which is when you commit irony with your words, saying something, and meaning the exact opposite.
I could also say “That stinks…” in a joking manner or a serious tone. Tone helps you decide what the person means by what they are saying, (also body language), and this is true in all conversations.
Sometimes you just have to make up your mind and say you’re not going to be offended. You can make yourself do anything, say anything, or react in any way, you’re you and it’s your choice. They don’t determine what you do. Even if they were a jerk. That’s where people get messed up, “even if they’re a jerk…” you could say ‘they made me…’ but they really didn’t. You let them.
Stop being sensitive for them and you. It’s just better that way.
So, since we talked about taking criticism in the wrong way and tone/body language, let’s talk about the right way.
- Make sure you understand what they’re saying so you can make some appropriate changes
- Be respectful
- Be grateful
If you’re not these three things chances are they won’t want to correct you again. Make sure your heart is right.
I love you guys, and I hope this was helpful! ❤