How To Communicate Effectively

Ariana's Flying LIfe

We all know communication is important. It is very important in any relationship. A lot of us cannot communicate effectively, and I want to help y’all with that, (and myself). πŸ˜›

How to communicate effectively


I will be going over some basics and if you want me to continue to say in the comments. I think this is a very important topic and I could always talk more on it…or should I say communicate more on it? πŸ˜‚ I think I make myself more than my friends sometimes. 😁

Maintain Eye Contact. (Issue #1)

This is a huge issue. A lot of people don’t maintain eye contact. A man at the store my Mom was talking to, (he worked there and we were in desperate need of help in finding something :P) and he would not look at her. She didn’t say anything to him but told me to always maintain eye contact because: 1) it’s rude not to, 2) it could make people think you’re hiding something. Neither of which I want to be guilty of. I try to maintain eye contact but I am going to be 100% honest here and say I get easily distracted sometimes so my eyes go everywhere and other times when I do people act like I’m death staring them and get a nervous look on their face. It’s hard to maintain eye contact. But, you should. It’s also a sign of respect. And the Bible says to respect others, so we should. πŸ™‚ When you talk to someone look at them in the eyes, don’t look mean or anything, haha, but do look at them and listen to what they’re saying.

Listen and Understand [& If You Don’t Understand Tell Them] (Issue #2)

Good listening is hard to come by. I’ve been told that “I can’t believe you remember that…” and other things like that because I do my best to listen and remember what my friends said or are saying because that’s the way I want to be treated. (Luke 6:31). Remembering/listening to what a person said is very uncommon which frustrates me. I have told people the same thing over and over and over again. The way to do this is 1) listen to what they’re saying, don’t space out, focus. Two: if you don’t understand what they’re saying or didn’t hear something they said because of your siblings in the background or whatever it may be ask them to repeat it, don’t just “smile and wave” as the great Skipper would say. πŸ˜‰

Debating/Disagreeing (Issue #3)

If you are debating or disagreeing with a friend and the two (or however many people you are talking to) disagree don’t talk louder than the other person, refer to issue two and listen to understand their arguments, be patient, and let them know your points by explaining/refuting them, don’t just dismiss them because you disagree. Don’t get frustrated or irritated, it’s not fun for the other person.

Those things will help you become more pleasant in everyday conversations and also debates.

Add to the Conversation (Issue #4)

I have talked with people where I ask all the questions and I really give the “beef” of the conversation. It’s annoying. Example:

Haley: Hey, how are you?

Janice: Pretty good.

Haley: I’m doing well too. How was your softball game?

Janice: Fine, I got a home run so that was nice.

Haley: Great job! I’m proud of you.

Janice: Thanks.

Haley: I have a dance tournament coming up, I’m excited.

Janice: When is it?

Haley: Next Friday.

Janice: Good luck.

Haley: Thanks! Didn’t you use to dance?

Janice: Yes.


You can see Janice did do some good things here, “When is it?” in response to Haley commenting on her dance tournament, but when Haley asked her how she was she didn’t ask Haley back and gave a pretty simplistic answer. Usually, when people ask how I am I don’t say “Fine” I say something like, “I am doing pretty well, I’m super busy right now.” or “I’m tired” just something else for the conversation to work with. Also, always add ‘How are you?’ back. πŸ˜€ It’s polite and shows you care.

What if I don’t care?Β You’re representing your family, God, yourself…just be nice/polite. At least try.

Don’t Add too Much to the Conversation (Issue #5)

Don’t make it all about you. This kind of goes back to Issue #2 where you have to listen, not just contribute. So, please, let other people talk, don’t talk over them, and contribute. There is a fine balance. Sound hard? Usually, your gut will tell you or their facial expressions/tone will tell you if it’s too much or too little. ❀


Thanks so much for reading! I hope this was helpful. ❀



By Ariana Evans

I'm a psychology geek, a reader, a writer, photography, and a tutor. I love all these things and will continue to "live" in these areas.

20 replies on “How To Communicate Effectively”

Whenever I talk to somebody I’m not familiar with, I look at something else – anything but them. I can’t help it but when I look them in the eye my voice shakes more than usual. (It sounds like I’m singing opera when I talk lol)

Liked by 1 person

But can’t anger sometimes serve a purpose? If you are talking about a social issue that you have experience with (like racism) you have all rights to be angry and upset, and people might actually listen to you more if they see how much it bothers you and how upset you are.

Liked by 1 person

Oh, yes. I think we’re talking different types of anger. And that’s my bad. I’m saying more of wrath and lashing out, and I think you’re saying passion almost, am I correct? If I’m right about what you’re talking about, (being passionate about injustice or slavery per say), then yes, that’s right.

Liked by 1 person

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